How to Explain Anxiety to a Child: A Parent’s Guide to Childhood Anxiety
Have you ever found yourself lost for words when your child is caught in a moment of worry or fear? You want to comfort them, say the right thing, and help them feel safe, but you’re just not sure where to start. So many parents have shared with me how overwhelming it feels when their child is anxious. They don’t want to ignore it, but they also don’t want to say something that makes it worse.
The truth is, explaining anxiety to a child doesn’t have to be complicated. When we speak with kindness and simplicity, we create space for understanding, and that’s where calm begins. Our words can become gentle stepping stones that lead our kids toward feeling safer in their own minds and bodies.
Today, I want to walk you through 13 thoughtful phrases that can help you talk to your child about anxiety. These are not perfect lines or quick fixes, they’re invitations to connect. Think of them as anchors in stormy moments, helping your child feel seen, heard, and supported.
What Is Anxiety and Why Do Kids Feel It?
Anxiety is a feeling of worry, nervousness, or fear about something that might happen. It’s completely normal and it actually helps keep us safe. But for children, especially those still learning how to process emotions, anxiety can feel huge and hard to explain.
Kids might feel anxious about:
- Going to school
- Making mistakes
- Being away from a parent
- Social situations
- Changes in routine
And unlike adults, children might not have the words to say, “I feel anxious.” Instead, anxiety might show up as a tummy ache, tears at bedtime, or refusing to go to school. When you know how to explain anxiety to a child in language they understand, everything shifts.
Why It’s Important to Talk About Anxiety with Your Child
When we open up conversations around anxiety, we’re doing more than just offering comfort… we’re building trust, emotional safety, and lifelong skills.
Talking about anxiety with your child can:
- Show them that emotions aren’t scary, they’re messages.
When we gently talk through feelings like anxiety, we teach our kids that emotions aren’t something to push away or hide. They’re signals, asking for care and attention. - Build emotional literacy and self-awareness.
Naming feelings helps children understand what’s going on inside. The more they can recognise and label their emotions, the more empowered they become to manage them. - Normalise what they’re experiencing.
Kids often feel like they’re the only ones who feel anxious. When we talk openly, we help them realise that what they’re going through is human, and they’re not broken or weird for feeling this way. - Reassure them that they’re not alone.
Just knowing that a trusted adult gets it can be a huge relief. It reminds them they don’t have to carry their worries all by themselves. - Strengthen your connection.
These conversations offer a chance to deepen your bond with your child. They learn that you’re a safe person to come to, no matter what they’re feeling.
Even one kind, open-hearted conversation can lift a weight your child has been quietly carrying. And over time, these small moments add up, laying the foundation for resilience, confidence, and self-trust.
How to Approach the Conversation About Anxiety
Before jumping in with the phrases, here are a few tips for when and how to talk about anxiety:
- Pick a calm moment. Bedtime, cuddles, car rides, or a walk together are great.
- Use a soft tone. Your calmness helps regulate their nervous system.
- Ask more than you tell. Listen fully. Let silence stretch.
- Validate. Every emotion is okay, even if it doesn’t make sense to us.
Now… let’s dive into the phrases.
The 13 Compassionate Phrases to Explain Anxiety
So, how do we actually talk about anxiety with our kids?
Sometimes we get stuck because we’re afraid of saying the wrong thing—or we don’t know where to start. But the truth is, you don’t need to be a psychologist or have all the answers. You just need a few calm, reassuring phrases that meet your child where they’re at.
These 13 phrases aren’t scripts to memorise. They’re little bridges… gentle ways to connect with your child and help them understand what’s going on inside. You can use them as conversation starters, comforting responses in tough moments, or even as part of everyday chats.
You know your child best, so feel free to adjust the words to suit their age, personality, and needs. What matters most is the feeling behind the words: kindness, safety, and love.
Let’s take a look at each phrase and how it can help.
1. “It’s okay to feel nervous sometimes.”
This normalises anxiety. You’re telling your child, “You’re not weird or broken—this happens to all of us.”
2. “Anxiety is like a fire alarm—it warns us of danger, even when there isn’t any.”
Such a helpful metaphor for kids. It makes anxiety feel less scary and more understandable.
3. “Your feelings are like waves—they come and go.”
This helps them see that anxiety doesn’t last forever. It rises, it peaks, and it passes.
4. “You’re feeling anxious—you’re not anxious.”
This helps them see that anxiety isn’t who they are, it’s just something they feel right now.
5. “Let’s take a few deep breaths together.”
A moment to regulate together. Breathing tells the brain, “We’re safe.”
6. “You’re not alone—lots of people feel this way sometimes.”
Reassurance is everything. They feel less isolated when they know others experience this too.
7. “Your brain is just trying to protect you.”
Helps them understand that anxiety is their brain being a little overprotective.
8. “Can you describe what your worry looks like?”
Give the worry a name or shape. This helps externalise it and makes it feel more manageable.
9. “What’s the smallest step we can take to feel better?”
Focus on tiny, doable actions. Progress, not perfection.
10. “Let’s write down what’s worrying you.”
Whether it’s journaling or drawing, getting it out of their head helps.
11. “Feelings aren’t forever—they change like the weather.”
A gentle reminder that hard moments pass.
12. “Let’s figure out a plan for when you feel this way.”
Empowerment. You’re saying, “You’ve got this, and I’ve got you.”
13. “You are brave for talking about how you feel.”
Always end with love, praise, and encouragement.
Actionable Tips for Parents When Using These Phrases
These phrases are just the beginning. How you use them matters just as much as the words themselves. Here are a few gentle tips to help you connect with your child in a way that feels natural and supportive:
- Stay patient. If your child doesn’t respond the first time, that’s okay. They might need time to process or feel safe enough to open up. Keep showing up with calm and care…it makes a difference.
- Avoid saying “You’ll be fine.” Even when it’s said with love, it can feel like you’re brushing over their feelings. Try phrases that acknowledge their experience instead, like “I see this is really hard for you.”
- Use your own words. These phrases aren’t scripts, they’re guides. Say what feels natural to you. Your child will feel your authenticity, and that’s what builds trust and connection.
When to Seek Professional Help
When anxiety begins to affect everyday life, it’s important to consider extra support. Reaching out for help shows strength, not failure. Here are some ways to tell if it might be time to connect with a professional:
- Anxiety is affecting your child’s sleep, eating, or daily life
- Frequent physical complaints like headaches or tummy aches
- Avoiding normal activities or seeking constant reassurance
Therapists who work with children can be absolute magic… gentle, creative, and incredibly supportive. They help kids build tools to manage their feelings and offer parents guidance too.
But support doesn’t always have to begin in a therapy room.
As co-founder at M.Y.T.E – Manage Your Thoughts and Emotions, I’ve worked closely with children, teens, and families to create a toolkit that helps build emotional intelligence and self-regulation in a simple, age-appropriate way. It’s designed to empower kids with the skills they need to understand and manage their feelings, whether they’re facing anxiety, self-doubt, or big emotions.
If you’re looking for something to support your child day-to-day, the M.Y.T.E Toolkit might be the gentle starting point you’ve been searching for.
Resources and Further Reading
Having the right support can truly ease the journey of helping your child with anxiety. Here are some trusted books, websites, and apps full of kindness and practical help for both you and your little child.
- Books:
- What to Do When You Worry Too Much by Dawn Huebner
- Hey Warrior by Karen Young
- Websites:
- Apps:
- Smiling Mind (free mindfulness app for kids)
- Headspace for Kids
- M.Y.T.E App
Final Thoughts
Are you worried because your child won’t open up about their anxiety? You’re not alone… this is something many parents face. Sometimes, just knowing you’re there, patient and ready whenever they are, is exactly what your child needs. But how do you keep showing up with love when it feels so hard?
Maybe you fear that talking about anxiety might make things worse. The truth is, gently explaining anxiety often does the opposite. It lifts the veil of confusion and fear, giving your child the words and tools to understand what they’re feeling.
Remember, learning how to explain anxiety isn’t about having all the answers. It’s about being present, again and again, with kindness, curiosity, and a listening heart. You don’t have to fix it all. Just your steady presence, comforting words, and unconditional love can change everything.
Give one of the phrases above a try today and notice how it feels. Remember, you’re doing an amazing job. And if you feel comfortable, please share your experiences… your story might just be the support another parent is looking for.
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